Not surprisingly, my old friend insomnia has come to visit tonight... [PS: Yes, there is some not so friendly language in this post. But those who know me know I swear like a sailor. Pardon the French. Moving on...]
So, tonight/this morning's entry is sort of a recollection of the past school year. There have been ups, downs, twists, turns, and more direction and misdirection than I ever imagined possible. I've loved and I've hated. I've yearned for quiet nights and lived for the ones that weren't so quiet. I've discovered who I really care about and who really cares about me. There were nights I wanted to scream and nights I wanted to cry and give up. Hell, somewhere along the way, I even matured.
I've experienced things I never thought possible... or things that I didn't think I could handle. Of course, I can't go into some details of various stories, but it's those things that happened that made me realize that I really do love my job, my friends, and yes, even my small, two traffic light college town. After my first official floor meeting of the year (way back in September) in my first week of my job as a CA, a resident approached me and after I heard what he told me, my brain went into overdrive and my heart rate went from normal, calm Cary to "Holy shit, what the fuck do I do NOW?!" Cary. It was one of the most terrifying moments of my life. Fortunately, my residence hall director helped me (and my resident) through the situation.
Of course, part of the job always entails dealing with the campus cops somehow. I think I've met most (if not all) of the Public Safety officers this year. Not that that's a bad thing, mind you. And one of their security officers/dispatchers is one of the sweetest ladies I've ever met. I have had to call them on more than one occasion, and they're always happy to help (which was good for newbie CA, yours truly). Even when an incident actually didn't occur (again, limited details, I know, but it's confidentiality stuff), they said call back if anything else should occur.
There's also the funny side of the job. One night, around 11:20 or so, I heard knocking on the outside of the first floor windows (I happen to live on the first floor). As luck would have it, the knocker reaches my window around 11:25. My thought process at this point is that hey, maybe I'll recognize this goon and scare him off... Fast-forward to me opening my blinds and looking back at me is someone wearing a Hillary Clinton mask. Yes, you read that right, Hillary Clinton. And then they ran off. I texted my residence hall director, because I'm still the clueless, what should I do CA. She advised me to call PS, which I did. I got a call back from them about half an hour after I gave them all of the details, and they said they found the individual who was responsible, and asked if I needed to talk to anyone about what happened (I politely declined).
Through all of this, learning who those people are that I can go to at any time without fear of being judged, laughed at, or completely ignored, has really helped me become the person I am. The advice, love, and friendship they've given me is more than I could ever ask from such an awesome group of people. They have had so much of an amazing impact on my life... I can't even begin to describe how much they mean to me. They're the ones I know I'll remember for the rest of my life, and look back on the memories we've made and laugh just as much as we did when those memories were being made. (Damn, why do I sound so nostalgic? That wasn't where I thought that paragraph was going.)
I could go on and on with ridiculous stories about how an overflowing toilet caused the fire alarm to go off twice in the same week, including once at 5:30 AM (true story. Ask me about it sometime!); the mad dash to find condom-filled Easter eggs; being easily entertained by the fact that my psych professor both swore and taught a group of us the Electric Slide in the same night; and much more... But, honestly, this year has been one hell of an adventure. And I can't wait for it to continue!
Friday, April 22, 2011
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
Book Reviews?
Still trying to figure out the whole "what else should I blog about?" decision... It seems like I talk about life and awards shows. I promise that's not all that goes on in my head.
I've considered doing book reviews because I'm always trying to branch out in the genres I read. I'm hooked on thriller/murder mystery/political intrigue sort of stuff, but also whatever you might consider Malcolm Gladwell's genre to be (though he's a mutt when it comes to genre: there's sociology, psychology, pop culture, history... all thrown into his different books. I've read - and recommend - them all).
Perhaps I will start doing book reviews. I just have to find the time. Considering my to-do list is currently 74 (yes, 74) items long, I need to start crossing things off of it before I focus on anything else. I'd like to branch into some of the classics, such as James Joyce's Ulysses, Joseph Heller's Catch-22, and others.
I'd also like to start Fast Food Nation, by Eric Schlosser. It's been sitting on my bookshelf for about two months now, untouched. If that's any indication of how busy I am, I don't know what is.
Once summer vacation starts, I'm hoping to have secured an internship and read a lot more. Reading, for as long as I can remember, has been a part of who I am. My parents started reading to me when I was really, really young (probably when I was not even one yet). My mother enjoys telling the story of how my kindergarden teacher sent me to the principal's office because I was reading while the rest of the class was learning about a, an, and the. I also still razz my dad (jokingly, of course) that he would try to skip pages when reading to me before bed. (Is Wacky Wednesday really that long?)
So, this is where you come in, readers: What books are your go-to books? What are your favorites? I know I have a few that I can read time and time again and never get bored of. John Grisham's The Firm is just one of mine.
Now to start that to-do list...
[Cartoon from XKCD]
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
"Momma always said dyin' was a part of life. I sure wish it wasn't..."
Death. It's not an easy word to stomach. Nor is it an easy thing to deal with... ever. Today's memorial at school made me think of those who I've lost, and those who are still here.
In my junior year of high school, I lost my great-grandma. She was 94 when she passed away. I consider myself incredibly lucky that I got to spend 17 of those 94 years knowing her. Some of my memories of her are from the week that she stayed with us when my grandparents (who took care of her for the last few years of her life) went on vacation. I can vividly remember coming home from school every day, and finding her sitting in the kitchen with my mom, sharing stories from when my mom was little, even when my grandpa was little. Every night before bed, we'd play cards together. Even though she was blind in one eye, and sometimes not "all there," she'd still win every time.
In February of my senior year, I lost my great-aunt. Like my great-grandma, my great-aunt was also in her 90s. It was really difficult toward the end of my aunt's life, simply because she was in some of the stages of memory loss. This put a lot of strain on my parents, but they persevered. My great-aunt, after my dad's mother passed away, stepped in and pretty much raised him and my aunt. She was like the grandmother I never got to meet. Even when we'd go out to eat with her, the waitress would always call her "grandma." Not unlike my dad, she was always predictable, too. The two of them (and sometimes even I) will look through a menu a few times, and still order the same thing. I can even remember what she'd order at Applebees and The Sesame Inn.
I'm usually not one to show a lot of emotion when I'm sad (I just like being happy, who doesn't?). I guess I try to be the rock for my family and hold it in. I probably shouldn't do that as much as I do... But it's just who I am. I try to be the go-to person when someone needs something, I help.
I have a handful of friends who have lost their fathers, too... I can't even imagine losing my dad. He and I have so much in common, so many jokes, stories, etc., that I just don't want to lose... ever. Sure, we might get on each other's nerves about grades, driving, and other nonsense, but that's what I love. He's one of the strongest people I know. He lost his mom in his freshman year of college, supported himself through college, and (of course I'm biased in saying this), but has been an incredible influence on my life, whether he knows it or not. (Heck, I even considered being an engineer at one point... Then I realized there was a lot of math involved. I also didn't realize that stats was going to make me want to metaphorically slit my wrists in psychology, but that's another story altogether).
Having those people that I'm able to talk to about anything in my life makes it so worth while. I was able to tell someone about my fears for my cousin being in the hospital. She's like a sister to my mom. Even though we're technically second cousins, we're so much closer than that. It scares me because I don't know what's going to happen next. I guess I wrote this just as a release of what I've been holding in... And it's been incredibly cathartic. Thanks, readers, for being there. I can only hope that I can always do the same for you.
In my junior year of high school, I lost my great-grandma. She was 94 when she passed away. I consider myself incredibly lucky that I got to spend 17 of those 94 years knowing her. Some of my memories of her are from the week that she stayed with us when my grandparents (who took care of her for the last few years of her life) went on vacation. I can vividly remember coming home from school every day, and finding her sitting in the kitchen with my mom, sharing stories from when my mom was little, even when my grandpa was little. Every night before bed, we'd play cards together. Even though she was blind in one eye, and sometimes not "all there," she'd still win every time.
In February of my senior year, I lost my great-aunt. Like my great-grandma, my great-aunt was also in her 90s. It was really difficult toward the end of my aunt's life, simply because she was in some of the stages of memory loss. This put a lot of strain on my parents, but they persevered. My great-aunt, after my dad's mother passed away, stepped in and pretty much raised him and my aunt. She was like the grandmother I never got to meet. Even when we'd go out to eat with her, the waitress would always call her "grandma." Not unlike my dad, she was always predictable, too. The two of them (and sometimes even I) will look through a menu a few times, and still order the same thing. I can even remember what she'd order at Applebees and The Sesame Inn.
I'm usually not one to show a lot of emotion when I'm sad (I just like being happy, who doesn't?). I guess I try to be the rock for my family and hold it in. I probably shouldn't do that as much as I do... But it's just who I am. I try to be the go-to person when someone needs something, I help.
I have a handful of friends who have lost their fathers, too... I can't even imagine losing my dad. He and I have so much in common, so many jokes, stories, etc., that I just don't want to lose... ever. Sure, we might get on each other's nerves about grades, driving, and other nonsense, but that's what I love. He's one of the strongest people I know. He lost his mom in his freshman year of college, supported himself through college, and (of course I'm biased in saying this), but has been an incredible influence on my life, whether he knows it or not. (Heck, I even considered being an engineer at one point... Then I realized there was a lot of math involved. I also didn't realize that stats was going to make me want to metaphorically slit my wrists in psychology, but that's another story altogether).
Having those people that I'm able to talk to about anything in my life makes it so worth while. I was able to tell someone about my fears for my cousin being in the hospital. She's like a sister to my mom. Even though we're technically second cousins, we're so much closer than that. It scares me because I don't know what's going to happen next. I guess I wrote this just as a release of what I've been holding in... And it's been incredibly cathartic. Thanks, readers, for being there. I can only hope that I can always do the same for you.
Friday, March 4, 2011
...so here I am counting down the days till California comes
Well, it's been nearly a month since my last post, so I suppose it's time for an update, eh?
It's been an interesting month, to be completely honest. I haven't gone home since the end of January (which is a first. I usually go home about once a month). Being at school for over a month straight has its perks: I get to see my residents more (not that I don't anyway), it forces me to study more than I would if I was home, and it's just easy to be in the right place at the right time if I need to get something done.
Life is pretty great, too. I've got amazing friends and classes are going really well this semester (heck, I've got straight As for the first time since who knows when). Last semester, I tried to be the perfect CA: always willing to help, have awesome programs, and be there anytime for anyone. It nearly killed me. Sure, I passed all of my classes, but I could have done better. I realized this semester that I needed to make time for myself somewhere in the mix. Whether it's just taking a much-needed nap (even if they do get interrupted by residents) or taking a night to just relax and make a plan for the week ahead, it really helps.
In somewhat related news, I've also had 2 interviews for potential summer jobs/internships. My first was the HR internship through UPMC, and the second was through CalU's Upward Bound program. I haven't heard back from either yet. I've also been sending letters asking about internships, but so far, I've got nothing. I also attended a mock networking reception, which was really awesome.
And now for something completely different... I'm going to California! Not the little one where I currently live, but the west coast California. My mom finally broke down and decided she'd let her daughter go. I'm beyond excited. I haven't been out there in nearly 7 years, and it feels like I haven't seen family there in just as long.
Unfortunately, I probably won't be able to see LA as I had hoped, but Santa Barbara (where I'm headed) is absolutely gorgeous. The weather there is my definition of perfect: between 65 and 75 every day, hardly any (if any at all) humidity, and the ocean breeze complements it perfectly. (Although I do have a 3 hour layover in LAX en route to Santa Barbara, and my friend wants me to ask random airport workers where the boarding for Oceanic Airways is... I might just wind up looking for celebrities.)
I might get to check out San Luis Obispo, which is about 1 hour and 45 minutes north of SB. Of course, there's the beach, hiking, and that sort of stuff... But there's also whale watching, the Morro Bay estuary, and more. I'm also hoping to check out the winery where my aunt works one day when I'm out there. Not to drink, mind you, but just to check it out. Part of the movie Sideways was filmed there, in fact.
Hopefully my next update won't be posted a month after this one... But life's always a little crazy, so only time will tell.
It's been an interesting month, to be completely honest. I haven't gone home since the end of January (which is a first. I usually go home about once a month). Being at school for over a month straight has its perks: I get to see my residents more (not that I don't anyway), it forces me to study more than I would if I was home, and it's just easy to be in the right place at the right time if I need to get something done.
Life is pretty great, too. I've got amazing friends and classes are going really well this semester (heck, I've got straight As for the first time since who knows when). Last semester, I tried to be the perfect CA: always willing to help, have awesome programs, and be there anytime for anyone. It nearly killed me. Sure, I passed all of my classes, but I could have done better. I realized this semester that I needed to make time for myself somewhere in the mix. Whether it's just taking a much-needed nap (even if they do get interrupted by residents) or taking a night to just relax and make a plan for the week ahead, it really helps.
In somewhat related news, I've also had 2 interviews for potential summer jobs/internships. My first was the HR internship through UPMC, and the second was through CalU's Upward Bound program. I haven't heard back from either yet. I've also been sending letters asking about internships, but so far, I've got nothing. I also attended a mock networking reception, which was really awesome.
And now for something completely different... I'm going to California! Not the little one where I currently live, but the west coast California. My mom finally broke down and decided she'd let her daughter go. I'm beyond excited. I haven't been out there in nearly 7 years, and it feels like I haven't seen family there in just as long.
Unfortunately, I probably won't be able to see LA as I had hoped, but Santa Barbara (where I'm headed) is absolutely gorgeous. The weather there is my definition of perfect: between 65 and 75 every day, hardly any (if any at all) humidity, and the ocean breeze complements it perfectly. (Although I do have a 3 hour layover in LAX en route to Santa Barbara, and my friend wants me to ask random airport workers where the boarding for Oceanic Airways is... I might just wind up looking for celebrities.)
I might get to check out San Luis Obispo, which is about 1 hour and 45 minutes north of SB. Of course, there's the beach, hiking, and that sort of stuff... But there's also whale watching, the Morro Bay estuary, and more. I'm also hoping to check out the winery where my aunt works one day when I'm out there. Not to drink, mind you, but just to check it out. Part of the movie Sideways was filmed there, in fact.
Hopefully my next update won't be posted a month after this one... But life's always a little crazy, so only time will tell.
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