Confession​s of an insomniac.​..?

It's 1:26 AM. My alarm is set to go off in a little less than six hours, and let here I am, wide awake. Insomnia has decided to plague me tonight.

I've already tried relaxing to lull myself to sleep, thought peaceful thoughts, read a few chapters of my new Lost philosophy book, played a few rounds of Plants vs. Zombies, and done a lot of clock-checking.

Except for the clicking of my iPod's keyboard and the hum of the fan, the room is quiet. My grandparents have long been asleep (well, maybe not my grandma. She's an insomniac too).

Outside is silent as well. The occasional car passes. Perhaps a cop on duty or a late shift nurse. Either way, the sound of passing cars fades into the scenery after a while.

Like the noise, the light is sparse in the room. My iPod emits a soft glow, and my MacBook sits silently as its sleep light dims and brightens...dims and brightens...and repeats, almost mimicking one's inhalations and exhalations. Soft and repetitive, but seemingly soothing.

Normally, I've been long asleep by now. Trying to maintain a semidecent sleep schedule is almost near impossible for me. I work two jobs, each with various hours, and living in two locations a week also factors in. At home, I know I should be up by 9:30 for work at noon. At my grandparents', I usually get up between 7:30 and 8 to be at the bus stop by 9, and to my internship by 10.

Factor in that I have CA (same thing as an RA) training soon, and there are usually early-ish report times for that. Forcing myself to go to bed around midnight sometimes works, sometimes fails.

I blame the fact that home has the Internet (which means Facebook, chatting with friends, etc.), as well as my love for reading (probably why I finished The Green Mile, off and on, in two days).

It's 1:44 AM. I suppose that I should attempt to fall asleep again...

Needless to say, I tossed and turned until about 4:30, finally fell into a somewhat decent sleep at best, and got up at 8.

Maybe now I should continue working on that blogpost I've had as a draft for about a week now...

More Observations...

I'm going to miss people-watching at the end of my internship in a few weeks. I've enjoyed it immensely, and I love sharing it with my readers.

...There's an errand-running company that has a car I've seen a few times. I have a sneaking suspicion that they might be fans of the movie The Princess Bride because the company is called As You Wish.

...The guy who sat in front of me a few days ago sort of looked like Ian McKellen in the scene from LOTR: The Fellowship of the Ring when Gandalf rides up to Frodo. However, this guy didn't have the sweet robe. He did have a sweet hat, though.

...The older (maybe late fifties?) lady who is often on my return bus home is usually playing Angry Birds. I first noticed this a few weeks ago...when I was cross-stitching. She never seems to get angry while playing, unlike most Angry Birds players I know. (And I'm not saying 50 is old; as my dad will be 60 on his next birthday, and I've had relatives live well into their 90s.)

...The GoogleMaps car is quite possibly the coolest thing I've ever seen in my life. It's pretty much a car that has Google written all over it and has a ball of cameras on a pole affixed to it. (I realize this description sucks, so just look at the picture).

...Chipotle's line for food will grow exponentially between noon and twelve ten (as in, going from ten people to at least thirty-five, if not more). At this point, it's best just to go to a different place. There are lots of awesome places around where I work... Yet, I wind up going to the same places every week.

...Starbucks' baristas will start to know your order when you go enough. I realized this the other day when the barista just asked me what size caramel macchiato I wanted that day. (Which is even more proof of my caramel addiction... What can I say? They're delicious!)

...I've also recently realized that I've never seen the shorts-wearing lawyer (how does it take this long to fix a building's AC unit?) carry anything with him on the bus except money for his fare. I would assume he has a wallet and cell phone, too. I'm also surprised he doesn't have a bus pass. It seems like he rides the same bus every day, so why not get one? Yet another mystery of public transportation.

He does smoke, though. My respect level for him dropped some when I discovered this. Is that awful? Probably, but when you see how it affects those you love, it's different. I could date a casual drinker, but never someone who smokes.

...I still think that one of the guys I work with looks like Damon Lindelof from behind. Seriously.

I'm turning into a bus stop blogger

This entry sort of reminds me of one I wrote in June about things I've learned during my internship (found here). However, this one's a collection of things I've noticed while riding public transportation into the city 3 days a week.

Not unlike before my internship, I still find people watching really entertaining while waiting for the bus.

Case in point: the other day, I saw a woman going around 55 miles an hour... while applying mascara. Really?! I don't understand the appeal of wearing make-up (same deal for high-heeled shoes. Not a fan. Future husband, wherever you are, if you're reading this, you've been warned).

Amusing license plates? Also something fun to look for while waiting for the bus. Kinda like that LOL CAT one from a few days ago. "But everyone loves LOLcats. They're cute, and they can't spell, because they're cats." Big Bang Theory, you are just so darn quotable.

When a certain lady on the bus starts having a coughing fit, she takes a sip of water from what looks like a cleaned out McCormick spice container. This concerns me. A lot.

I still don't know if the mini billboard that says "Follow us on Facebook" is referring to the karate school or the beer distributor the bus passes every day. They share a sign. It's amusingly misleading... At least to me.

Another sign: "New and Used Tires." I will be the first to admit that I only have a basic knowledge of a car and its workings, but I'm pretty sure that used tires don't sound like a good idea.

And lastly... There will always be something magical to me about going through the tunnel and seeing a panorama of the city. It's absolutely breath-taking every time. (If you have no idea what I'm talking about, check out the video here).

I have a little less than a month left at my internship... Hopefully there will be more things to see, laugh at, and enjoy. We'll see what happens.

...then it all goes dark

It was a beautiful day. Sunny, warm, no humidity. I walked along the city sidewalk. It was quiet. I held my wallet in one pocket and nothing in the other. Normally my cell phone would have inhabited the other, but I wanted to disconnect from the world during this walk. The silence helped me collect my thoughts.

And then it hit. All the noises and lights and feeling impacted at once. God, what is that noise? Why are people yelling? Is someone crying? I'm confused. I try to sit up. I'm forced to lay down. Then it all goes dark.

Seconds turn into minutes and I hear muffled noises. My eyesight is horrible. Where are my glasses? Where am I? I hear tense talking as I slip out of consciousness.

Sometime later, not knowing how long, I hear more talking. And noise. Lots of beeps, pings, and what sounds like a breathing machine. I fight to open my eyes. It's blurry. I shut them. My head is pounding. Why does my head feel lighter? Cooler, even?

I try to open my eyes again. I see some figures. They speak, but I can only hear so much.

"Ribs... Four... Damage... Stitches...lucky...morphine."

Again, I try sitting up. I can't. Someone hands me a pair of glasses. I slowly put them on. The figures, though still somewhat hazy, become clearer. Two of my best friends. My parents.

My mom is clinging to my dad like a koala on a eucalyptus tree. My friends are the first to notice my confusion.

"Hey," one says quietly.

"H-hi," I reply. "What's going on?"

My mother begins to weep quietly. My dad comforts her.

"There was an accident," the other friend answers.

A doctor shines a light into my eyes. The pain hits again. I'm so confused. The doctor begins to explain what happened.

"You were hit by a car," he begins. "You were thrown after the impact. Your leg is broken in quite a few places, you have four broken ribs, a punctured lung, and numerous stitches. We had to shave your head for the stitches. You hit your head on the pavement following the impact."

So that explains why my head is cold. "And we gave you a morphine drip for the pain," he continues. "You're incredibly lucky to be alive." And thus explains why I feel lost, I guess. I think.

"How long will I be here?" I ask, wondering I'm making any sense.

"At least a week," the reply comes. "And then quite a bit of bed rest."

My friends look at me. I look at them. They look so...stoic. How did they know I was here? Who called my parents? There are so many questions and no answers. My mom and dad give me hugs. I only wish I had the strength to hug them back. They leave to talk to the doctor.

My friends sit. They explain more. "I'm so confused," I confess to them. One nods.

The other sits silently, collecting his thoughts. My racing thoughts begin to give me a headache again.

The doctor walks in again. He takes some notes...

I rub my eyes. It's then I hear birds. And my dad. The phone is ringing...

I suddenly realize I'm in my room. It was all a dream...

A dream that seemed like a nightmare.