Wednesday, April 18, 2012

And everybody bleeds this way

Breathe in, breathe out/Tell me all of your doubt/And everybody bleeds this way/Just the same
Breathe in, breathe out/Move on and break down/If everyone goes away/I would stay

Insomnia. Love. Stress. Relief. Doubt. Lucky.  Those simple six words have dictated the last 48-72 hours of my life. Between finishing a paper that's due in an hour and a half this morning, giving a small speech at an appreciation dinner, talking to my university's provost about a graduate assistantship, and more... I'm exhausted.

We push and pull/And I fall down sometimes/And I'm not letting go/You hold the other line
'Cause there is a light in your eyes/In your eyes, in your eyes

Yet, I can't sleep. Vic stayed over last night, and usually, we fall asleep between 10:30 and 12:30 (going to bed that early is still a somewhat new concept to me, but I'm getting used to it). However, last night was a different story. I worked on my paper until about 11:30 when I dragged myself to bed. I don't remember what time I originally fell asleep, but it wasn't for long. Sleep came in fits to say the least. I think I got maybe 3 or 4 hours of sleep, all told, if that.

Hold on and hold tight/From out of your sight/And everything keeps movin' on, movin' on
Hold on, hold tight/Make it through another night/And every day, there comes a song with the dawn

I felt bad this morning because he was so concerned about my not sleeping. I'm seriously so fortunate to have such a caring guy in my life.  I would not be able to get through so much of what I'm dealing with without him.  So, Vic, I know you're probably reading this... Thanks again.  You're the best.

Look left, look right/To the moon in the night/And everything under the stars/Is in your arms
'Cause there is a light in your eyes/In your eyes, in your eyes

Also on the positive side, I've applied for a graduate assistantship on-campus, am nearing completion on the final requirement for admission consideration for a Master's program where I presently attend school, and am almost caught up on assignments (though I should probably use the word "almost" lightly, as I have a paper due next week that I've not started). I also got to finalize a program I helped initiate on campus and am excited that it actually got approval and will be continuing in years to come.

There is a light in your eyes/In your eyes, in your eyes...

"Breathe In, Breathe Out," Mat Kearney


  1. The last semester of your college career brings such a conflicting sense of emotions that it is impossible to identify with unless you have lived through it. For people like me and you, who got used to living with 250 neighbors and genuinely love the area of higher ed, it's more difficult than for most. I think, and maybe this is last night's lesson from Professor Nutcrusher coming out, we all go through the 5 stages of grief. (It's called the Kubler-Ross Model, by the dubs. True story) Acceptance is the last stage, but often doesn't come until quite some time after you've left the academic routine.'ll be coming back. And you'll be with me, Vic, and Amber. Isn't that wonderful? It's like a second chance. A rebirth of sorts.


  2. I'm at the point where I don't even care to get caught up on assignments haha.

    I'm glad you have someone in your life who is supportive/caring during stressful times such as these. The end of the semester is rough, and especially now with all the changes that you'll be making. Just take it a day at a time! (now if only I can take my own advice.. hmm)