Friday, March 30, 2012

You can't always get what you want...

Matching in pink for Vic's birthday.
But if you try sometime, you might find/You get what you need...

Well, it's been another interesting week in my life.  Between spending time with Vic (which, more often than not, is the highlight of my day), helping at a rally, catching up on assignments, work, classes, and more, I'm simply exhausted. Both physically and emotionally.

Recently, I've felt overwhelmed with the amount of things I do as a Community Assistant. Don't get me wrong, I love my job and residents, but being the go-to girl can be difficult at times. I'm glad to be of help to my fellow staff members, my hall director, and all of the residents, but sometimes... It's just too much.

"I feel like the other CAs in my building don't pull their weight with our duties," I admitted.

"And why do you feel that way?" asked my counselor during our Tuesday session.

I pondered the question for a moment. "I guess... I just do so much for the job, my residents - well, all of the residents, and I'm always the person that they all turn to when something needs done."

"So, you're all getting paid basically the same amount, give or take, and have the same responsibilities, but you're always the one doing something beyond that."

"Essentially... yes. And it's draining: I have 71 residents and I'm in charge of 42 work study students. I have a full fifteen credit course load, a work study, and am involved in quite a few groups on campus."

"And last time, you also mentioned that you had a graduate school interview coming up and recently entered into a new relationship."

"Yes," I replied. "Those too."

It was freeing to expel everything that's been weighing down on me lately to my counselor. He gave me some suggestions on how to talk to my hall director about how all of this has been impacting me. I was afraid to talk to my hall director about these issues because I didn't want to sound like the bad guy or tattle-tale, but knowing how I want to phrase something is half the battle. (This is especially true for me, because I often find myself having a difficult time putting things into words, which is why having this blog has helped me in more than one regard.)

Sleep? What's that? I'm an overworked college student!

Apart from that, this week has been an interesting one...
- I somehow got a B on a test that I didn't study for.
- I received an email today that told me that I won an award at school that I was nominated for a few weeks ago (ironically, one of my best friends was also nominated and won!).
- And, last but not least, I also got an email that said I've been placed on the wait list for my top choice graduate school. While it wasn't the answer I wanted, it wasn't a flat-out rejection either. Though it would have been nice to get a straight-forward yes or no, it's also given me time to think about a lot of things, discuss with people (well, mostly Vic... by which I mean, crying on his shoulder) about my options, and consider what else is out there. I'm definitely going to be doing a lot of soul-searching in the coming days and weeks.


  1. Your counselor sounds like an awesome guy. And I hate to say it, but his responses remind me of so many of my course lessons. Classic empathy and reflection. Isn't it amazing how you learn to see the world differently once you have a sounding board to bounce your ideas off of?

    Btw, Vic is freakin adorable. I love that pink and blue vest. It's so him.

  2. He truly is. Having a sounding board is so helpful. I think everyone should have that sort of relationship with a person, be a friend, family member, or a counselor. It's wonderful to see things in a new way.

    And I quite agree. Adorable is one of the words he doesn't mind me calling him (handsome, on the other hand, is a different story). :)