The Future Freaks Me Out

Scared. Terrified. Panicked. Shaken.

All of those words have described me in the past few days and weeks. And it's all because of two little words: grad school.

In the last few weeks, I've been giving a lot of thought to my future. In the words of Motion City Soundtrack, the future freaks me out. A lot. I've been researching different schools, programs, etc., and it's all led me back to one:  a Master of Science in Education: Student Affairs Administration in Higher Education. (I know, it's a really long title)

Being an RA has taught me so much about people, myself, and how much I truly love college. In the words of a former professor, "From the sounds of it, you just never want to leave college. I wouldn't know anything about that." I love my professor's wit, and she's absolutely right.

I've looked at different colleges. Some close, some far (the program that appeals to me most right now is just under 13 hours from my house). The fact that I've gone to a school that has about 9,000 undergraduate and graduate students has definitely made an impact on me. I know my professors, and they know me by a name, not a number. I like the fact that I can walk across campus and know quite a few people, from residents past and present to professors and beyond. I've had conversations with professors, Public Safety officers, and even the president of the university.

It would be nerve-wracking for me to attend a school with seven times the amount of students that my current college does. I don't want to be a number. (That, and the fact that tuition costs are also quite a bit higher. Considering the fact that my dad would again be paying both undergraduate and graduate tuition bills simultaneously, I'm factoring that in. I would also be applying for graduate assistantships to alleviate as much of the cost as possible).

For now, I need to revamp and edit my resume, decide what writing sample to use, and who to ask for letters of recommendation...