Tuesday, July 3, 2012

Patience is a virtue

...or so I've been told.

As of a few days ago, all of my application materials for graduate school have been turned in.  (Which is a good thing, because at least once a week for the past four or five weeks, I've been getting emails that say the office is still missing part/s of the application).  Despite all of this being turned in, I do have to go in for an admissions interview next week (a week from tomorrow, actually).  I'm taking this as a positive sign.

These past few weeks have been, well, interesting.  I got to stay the weekend with Vic as I had previously mentioned, which was wonderful.  Spending time with him is always a fun time.

The week after that, though, was just...insane.  My parents had been trying to ready the house for the graduation party we had on Saturday, family staying with us, etc.  Of course, we can't have a family gathering without the over-bearing family causing drama (and leading to headaches for everyone).  That, and I'm thinking they approve of Vic after having met him because my cousin's husband wouldn't stop dropping wedding hints (we've only been dating for four months, talk about being hasty...).

I helped as much as I could prepare for the party, but between my mom trying to make the house look perfect and dad being a perfectionist about where everything goes and is arranged and the whole nine yards, I just wanted to run away screaming.  It was, in a word, infuriating.  I try to be a good daughter and do my part, but there's only so much I can take.  Working part-time and then helping them was tiring.

Back to grad school happenings, I'm slowly going insane not knowing if I'll be getting in the program.  I don't mind my part-time job that I hold, trying to save money to help fund graduate school, but I'm realizing how much I want out of it at the same time.  But that would require finding a job, interviewing, and getting said job, and probably starting out at a lower hourly wage than I currently make.

I don't mind (most of) the customers and my coworkers are pretty awesome, but it isn't fulfilling.  I don't want to do this for the rest of my life.  I want a challenge.  I miss the world of academia.  As much as I complained about some of my classes, I'm truly ready for a new set of courses, professors, and even assignments.  Work just isn't challenging.  I ring people out, sort ink cartridges, set up displays, and other menial tasks.  I want something more out of what I do.

It's not that I'm not happy with my life, it's just that I'm feeling kind of blah about the whole situation.  I realize how fortunate I am to have a job that I can always come back to, but I need something more than this.  I miss going to class, even holding office hours, and being within walking distance of Vic and my other friends.

This summer is different... it's a weird in-between college graduation and hopefully graduate school phase.  I suppose only time will tell at this point.


  1. I know what you mean - I had a retail job which I really didn't find fulfilling, and was very happy to return to graduate school! Hope your internet goes well next week :)

  2. Same here. JCP is fine for the summer, but the only thing that gets me through the drudgery of working for the next 5 days is knowing that I go back to classes in the fall. No, that lifestyle isn't perfect either...but the pay is much better for a GA, I walk to work, and I sit in front of a desk all day. Nothing wrong with that. Maybe it's because you and I are academics at heart, but I can't understand how some people work retail for 20+ years and are still happy about it. I could never be fulfilled by that routine.

    You'll make it in. Cutting through the bureaucracy is annoying, but it pays off in the end :D

  3. I completely understand how you feel. I've been working at my job for 9 months now and I feel so blah. It's not that I don't enjoy my coworkers, but I do menial tasks like scheduling rooms and tracking projects. I want to do something I enjoy, something that is interesting and challenging, something that helps people. But you'll get there. Just give it some time. :)