Christmas 2012: One of the best yet

I think I've been enjoying the lack of tests and essays to finish this entry... But then a certain someone asked why I hadn't updated in a while, and I had to oblige.  Normal posting should resume now.

Not surprisingly, I learned two Saturdays ago that when my dad picked me up from school that my family had yet to pick up a Christmas tree.  This is usually how things work around my family.  If it weren't for the last minute, some things would never get done for my family...  But I digress.

Despite some incredibly late gift hunting, wrapping, and name-tagging, this Christmas was definitely one of the best.  I got to spend Christmas Eve with Vic, which was wonderful.  It had been over a week since we'd seen each other, and when you're used to spending nearly every day with your best friend, it felt like forever. I can't wait until he and his parents come over for dinner next week.  It's always wonderful to see everyone.

I can also honestly say that at twenty-two years old, I've met the person I want to spend the rest of my life with.  Knowing that there's someone who cares as much about you as you do about them, who makes you laugh like you didn't know was possible, tear up because of sweet text and Facebook messages, and smile like it's the only thing you know how to do... It makes me the happiest, luckiest girl in the world.

Vic, I love you and can't wait to spend forever with you.  You are my best friend, the love of my life, and my rock.  I would not be the same person I am today if you hadn't come up to talk to me after your night class on a Monday almost a year ago.

My grandparents spent Christmas day with us.  Between my father making some off-color (albeit hilarious) comments, my brother being ridiculous, and my grandmother nearly snorting her can of Coke through her nose, it was pretty hilarious.

It's been a low-key holiday break so far, but honestly, after a busy first semester of graduate school, I'm not about to complain.  (Sure, teaching my mom how to use her new toy [the iPad she claims will be for work only] has been interesting, but she's doing well with it.)

Now to plan menus for next week and try my hand at cooking...

2012: A Year in Review

What a year it's been.

This time last year, if you told me everything that was going to happen from then til now, I would never have believed you.  Having to make grad school decisions, meeting my best friend and love of my life, learning that it's okay to ask for help, graduating from college, surviving another summer of selling over-priced office supplies, and returning to the place I've called home for four (now five) years.

Wow.  What a year.  Facebook conveniently has made an app for the 2012 Year in Review for its users, and because I'm lazy (and possibly forgetting some things), here goes...

- Getting into graduate school.
- Getting a job that pays for my grad school tuition and room on campus.
- Traveling to DC with my best friend and the History Club.
- Graduating from college.
- Winning one of the Distinguished Service Awards at school.
- Being in a relationship with my best friend.

Yeah, I'd say that 2012 has been a pretty amazing year.  Sure, it's had its share of ups and downs, but the good has absolutely outweighed the bad in so many ways.

I have one final left to take.  I have one final grade in so far (an A in Foundations).  Vic and I are both leaving campus early on Saturday morning.  Break will yet again consist of seeing family and working, but of course, the best part is seeing friends and not having to worry about assignments for six weeks.

The end is near...

After my second class lets out tonight, I will have one class left to finish assignments for this semester.  One.  Uno.  Une.  Ains.  (Obviously, I can't wait.)

These past few weeks have been a flurry of tests, papers, assignments, and video taping lessons.  Of staying up way too late to work on assignments.  More coffee than should probably be consumed by a single person.  And, of course, spending time with the person who is both my best friend and boyfriend, which, of course, is the best part of my day.

Tomorrow, I'll finish a paper that's due...well, tomorrow at 11:55 PM.

Finals week is next week, but I only have one final.

My portfolio that I've been working on for my Foundations class is finally done at 131 pages.  (Keep in mind, too, that even though I had 2 group members, our group was smaller than the others in the class and one group member did *maybe* 5 pages of work.  Not that I'm bitter or anything.)

Tomorrow is the department's open house.  Which is actually more of an end of the year get together for students and faculty.  Vic and I will be attending in color-coordinated outfits because we are *that* couple.  Have I mentioned lately how much I adore him?  I'm seriously the luckiest girl in the world.  He's an amazing guy, and he makes me laugh and smile and love life more than I ever thought possible.

But for now, I'm off to my last sessions of my Tuesday classes... And I'm not going to lie, it'll be weird not going to class next Tuesday.  Sort of.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Happy Thanksgiving, followers and readers.  I hope your holiday is wonderful!

Thankful

Tonight, I sat in two of my classes, as I do every Tuesday night.  Foundations of School Counseling, from 4-6:45, and Developmental Group Counseling, from 7-9:45.

During the first half of my Developmental Group class, my professor and a counselor from the university's counseling center gave a presentation that they had presented at an ACCA (American College Counseling Association) conference.  The topic was Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID).  (Yay acronyms!)  As I sat, listening to how they had helped a student from the university some years ago with DID, I realized how truly fortunate I am.

I am healthy.  I have some semblance of a sanity (let's be real, no graduate student is truly of sound mind, even if they do happen to be studying counseling).  I have an incredible family.

My parents are the best.  There's a reason the majority of my friends call them Dad and Mom.  They're the funniest, cutest couple I know.  My dad has been known to sign his emails to my mom "Love, your friend on the other side of the bed."  They're goofy, loving, and have taught me so much.

My not-so-little brother is one of the funniest people I know as well.  His imitation of Will Ferrell as James Lipton is spot-on.

I have an awesome job at the university I attend.

My friends are the most amazing people I know.

And, last, but certainly not least... There's that guy who makes me smile, laugh, and it's because of him that I'm the happiest girl in the world.  I don't know what I'd do without him.  He's the best.

Staples, glue, and the final project

An obscene amount of staples litters the floor.  Somehow, my fingers aren't stuck together because of copious amounts of glue stick glue.  My hand cramps from cutting out letter after letter.  And, yet, it's all part of the job that's paying for my graduate school education.

I've been a CA (Community Assistant), same thing as an RA (Resident Assistant) since my junior year of college.  I'm now a graduate-level CA, but have many of the same responsibilities as an undergrad one.  Checking people in and key distribution at move in, room inspections, floor meetings, on-call nights, office hours, etc.  However, one of my favorite things about the job is making bulletin boards every month.  I've previously shared some boards here and here.

This year, I have a board that's 5" wide and 4" tall.  The normal boards are 4" and 3" high, so figuring out how to cover the larger board is always an interesting task, but I try to make it work (even if I do have to stand on a chair to do so.  My boss doesn't care, so long as it gets the job done).  So, I present to you, my bulletin boards.  This is what I do during office hours when I'm not writing out hundreds of flash cards.

The first large bulletin board of the year.

I also make door tags every month for my residents.

120+ Pokemon hand-cut out for a border. Sometimes I have issues.
And sometimes it scars childhood memories of Pokemon.

Probably one of my favorite boards that I've ever done. It took forever,
but so worth it. Each clue has a dollar value, answer, question, and
extra details about the answer/question.

Moving On

Sometimes, we all
need a little love and
repairing.

Throughout my twenty-two years, I've had friends, acquaintances, best friends, and other such people in my life.  Some who I've been close with and would trust the world, others...not so much.  Friendships have been forgotten, some repaired, some just hanging by a string waiting for a bully to snip it and render it lost.  Others have been rediscovered, strengthened, and still others sewn back together again, similar to a mother sewing a teddy bear back together for their child.

As of late, I've felt like Corduroy.  You know, the bear in the children's book by Don Freeman, found in a department store by a young girl who takes him home to repair him?

Losing friendships that you thought were once strong and would last forever can be devastating when they're lost.  When that string gets cut.  It's not just the string that was holding the friendship together, but also the heartstrings of the person who gets hurt the most.  And when it hurts...it's terrible.  (I honestly don't know where all of these sewing metaphors are coming from.)

No, but seriously, who wants the 18 year old?

Despite this heartbreak, some of my friends are like the siblings I never had.  Yes, I have a younger brother in actuality, and I love him to death (even if he drives me insane...that's what siblings are for.  Seriously.  Anybody want to borrow an 18 year old for the day?  He's yours.) and would go to great lengths for him. I'm trying to help him figure out the college thing again.  Long story there.  Anywho.

Some of my younger friends are like a little sister or brother to me, and the older ones are like the awesome older sister and funny, wise elder brother who I can look up to (then again, when you're 5'2", you look up to almost everyone).  They're incredible, beautiful, endearing people and I wouldn't be the same person I am today without their friendship.

I have an incredible, funny, loving, sweet boyfriend.  He is my rock, and keeps me sane throughout all of this craziness of life, grad school, working on campus, and finding a balance among them and still keeping a sense of humor that is beyond amazing.  His genuine sense of caring and being is humbling and refreshing.  There's no way I could do this without him.  Vic, I adore you and you make me the happiest girl in the world.  Thank you for being there for me through all of this.  You are the best.

In DC with one of my favorite people...
No, not you, Mr. Lincoln.

My family...where do I even start?  They're crazy in large groups, hilarious, and the best family in the world.  I'm one of fifteen grandkids on my mom's side of the family alone.  She's one of 8 kids, and I think my grandfather is one of 8 or 9.  Needless to say, it's a huge group at the annual Christmas party.  Sure, it's overwhelming at times, but I know that there is no way I would be the person I am today without them.

From my aunts, uncles, and cousins in California to Virginia to Pennsylvania and even a second cousin in Switzerland, I know I can pick up the phone and call or text them, and they'll be happy to chat or just say hi.  The art of communication is sometimes called lost with the generation of iPad, iPhone, iThis, and iThat, but sometimes, simple communication with a phone call is what you really need and having that is amazing.  (And, admittedly, getting mail at school is awesome.  Anybody want to be pen pals?  Seriously.)

So I guess what I'm saying is that although friendships sometimes get severed and might be irreplaceable, knowing that you do have those connections with those few close friends (because that's all the introvert in me can stand some most of the time) means more than anything else.  Making new connections can often be difficult for me, but having those close friends is a step in the right direction.  It gives me hope to see those friendships being strengthened.

Fall 2012 | A Photo Entry

On Saturday night, Vic mentioned what he loves about fall.  The changing leaves.  Campfires.  The smell of the wet woods.  The fact you can tell there's actually a season change going on (even though it's been in the high 70s here all week and possibly snow next week.  The weather here is often indecisive).

This conversation reminded me that I had been wanting to take some pictures of campus in the fall.  The changing leaves are incredible against a cloudless sky.  So, despite being on-call, I took my phone, the on-call phone, and my camera and went out for a short walk on Monday.  These are the end results.  (Click to enlarge for a better view.)

100th Post

When I first began writing this blog, I never imagined I would reach 100 posts.  It's been a little over two years since I started this blog.

It started as my opinions on who should win different awards.  Then it morphed into figuring out who I am (which it always will be), and a slew of other things...
- Going to California.
- Interning in downtown Pittsburgh.
- My senior year of college, and figuring out what's next.  Well, sort of.
- Sharing pictures of my bulletin boards.
- My first date in years that turned into a relationship.
- Going to counseling.
- Wondering if I'd be in Wisconsin in a few months.
- Realizing graduation is less than 3 weeks away.  Thanks, Dad.
- Graduation.
- Spending a weekend with my best friend.
- Getting into graduate school.
- The start of graduate school.

...And those are just the highlights.

On Thursday, Vic and I will have been dating for 8 months.  He calls it the "dating but should be engaged" scenario.  He's my best friend and I adore everything about him, from his silly and sweet text messages to waking up with him on the nights he stays over.

Life is pretty awesome, I'm not going to lie.  Classes are still going well, although I'm ready for Thanksgiving break.  My fellow staff members this year are pretty great, the fellow Counselor Ed students are always willing to help the newbie, and my professors are really helpful.

The Pursuit of Happiness

Thomas Jefferson wrote about it in the Declaration of Independence.

Christopher Gardner wrote about it in a book that became an award winning movie.

A friend texted me at midnight, "I'm glad you've found happiness."

In the movie of the same name, Will Smith as Christopher Gardner says, "And I remember thinking how did he [Jefferson] know to put the pursuit part in there?  That maybe happiness is something that we can only pursue and maybe we can actually never have it."

But is there truly a pursuit to happiness?  Can we actually have it or do we really have to pursue it?  I don't think it's a pursuit.  Sure, happiness can be a lifelong journey, but if you spend your whole life looking for it, you'll be disappointed.

Happiness isn't having everything you dreamed you would.  It isn't leading a perfect life.  It isn't being a perfect person.  Perfection is impossible to achieve.  Happiness, I believe, is.  It's a culmination of all of those things that make us who we are and what gets us out of bed in the morning.

I am pursuing a Master of Education degree in a field that appeals to me more than I realized.  I'm employed by the university I attend.  My job is nowhere near perfect.  I feel burned out by it on some days, but it has its rewarding days, though.  I have an awesome family.  My friends are absolutely wonderful.

I'm dating the most incredible guy in the world, who I love more than anything.  My life is nowhere near perfect, but knowing that there are people in my life who care about me as much as I care about them, support my ventures, and are there for me as I am for them...

That's happiness.  It's not having the best of everything, it's making the best of what is given and appreciating it.

Humming a slightly varied tune

About a year ago, I wrote a post that is interesting to read now, considering what I've done in the time since.  At the time, I was looking at graduate schools that were pretty far from home.  Trying to decide where to apply, what I wanted to do with my life, etc.  As I was telling a friend, I barely remember anything from the first half of my senior year of college.  The second half was much more memorable.

You better believe it's true

You know I do ooh ooh I do

You better believe it's true

You know I do ooh ooh I do

I don't always make bulletin boards about STDs, but
when I do, they ruin childhood memories of Pokemon.

As I sit here today and type this, I have moved onto grad school, although for School Counseling.  The distance I moved for this grad school?  About fifty yards away from last year's residence hall into the one across the street.  And you know what?  I couldn't be happier.

My classes are going really well.  My Foundations class which is really interesting, even if a lot of work. Within a group in the class, we have to build a school counseling curriculum from the ground up.  I had no idea how much work it would be, and though I prefer solo work, it's going pretty well.  Another project we have in the same class is making a tri-fold poster (with a different group, although for this one, it's just me and a partner) for a mini-presentation/conference.  Although the class is more work than most, there aren't any tests in the class (which is wonderful).

Humming a slightly varied tune

Opposite angles of the moon

Buried in layers of ourselves

Leaves room for no one else

Developmental group is still somewhat dull, though it's getting better.  Having friends in the class helps, and we're also working on a presentation for that class.  I'm working with two classmates who I've only met this semester, and while it'll break me away from the comfort zone of working with people I know, it'll be a good thing.

Theory is still interesting, and I can't complain about having a perfect in the class either.  And, hey, the professor feeds us.  Can't ask for better than that.  Special Ed online is interesting, but I have to force myself to actually read the chapters.  In that class, we have to tape ourselves doing a lesson with another person.  The plus side of that project is that the person we do the lesson with doesn't have to be in the class.  Considering I know someone who has taken the class and done the same project... He'll be helping me with the lesson.

I believe it's true
Cause nothing matters when I'm all wrapped up in you
I believe it's true
Cause nothing matters when I'm all wrapped up in you

Badgerkitty and Bearcat

And that friend?  He's the sweetest, funniest, most caring guy in the world.  Yesterday marked seven months of dating, and between the silly nicknames and goofy antics and everything in between, I can't imagine my life without him.

Vic has asked if he could propose with a kitten or puppy instead of a ring on a few occasions.  Considering that neither of us has ever even considered breaking up with the other and we essentially live together, I told him I'd say yes no matter how he asks.

You better believe it's true

You know I do ooh ooh I do

You better believe it's true

You know I do ooh ooh I do

(PS:  We're going to name a cat we get together Adler.  Just because it's an awesome name for a cat.)

"True Romance," by Motion City Soundtrack from GO | Listen here

High School Never Ends

It's been 21 days since I started graduate school and almost exactly a month since I moved into school.  It feels like forever ago.

Classes are going pretty well.  My Foundations class can be overwhelming at times, but I'm not about to complain about the fact there aren't any tests in the class.  Group process can be dull at times, but that might also be due to the fact that I have it right after another class.  The material is interesting though.  My other classes are Theory (which I find fascinating, and my prof is hilarious) and Special Education (which I'm zooming through online.  Having assignments done ahead of time for that class is a blessing).

In a few weeks, I'll be heading back to my old high school for a day.  It's been a few years since I've gone to one of the graduation ceremonies held inside.  I've kept in contact with a few old teachers.  Beyond that... high school was four years ago.  I only talk to a handful of people from high school.  The bulk majority of my friends now are those I've met in college. Job shadowing a counselor at the school for a day should be an interesting endeavor.  Part of me is a tad nervous, but I'm actually really excited for this experience.  I had actually considered doing a job shadow over spring break to get a feel for the job, but now that it's part of a class assignment, I think it'll be very interesting.

I also (somewhat) recently threw around the idea of getting certified in both elementary and secondary school counseling.  The best part is, it wouldn't require any additional time.  I would only have to split my field experience in half; one half in an elementary setting, the other in secondary.  I think it makes a ton of sense to do this.  All things in time, though...

The best part of being back into the swing of classes, though, is getting to spend time with my best friend.  Getting to see and hang out with Vic is still the highlight of my days and nights.  Nothing will ever change that.  He stays over a few nights a week (he claims it's the fact I have an actual bed and air conditioning...), and he makes me the happiest girl in the world.  Knowing that there is someone who cares about you as much as you care about them, who doesn't mind your ridiculousness, and supports you through the thick and thin of things...it's the best feeling in the world.

I haven't seen my parents since I moved in.  We text, call, and email from time to time.  Until tonight.  I was sitting in the computer lab after getting a call from my mom after her first day of work (I'm so proud of her that she got a job that she is incredibly excited for - she kept joking my dad was going to kick her to the curb if she didn't find a job).  I had to print a new schedule for the work studies I supervise and a few other odds and ends.

To gain access to the computer lab, residents have to use their room key.  While I was printing everything, there was a knock on the door.  I ignored it, thinking the resident would remember to use their key.  When they knocked a second time, I decided to answer it and just let the resident in.

Only it was no resident.  It was my mom.  Needless to say, I was shocked.  She said she couldn't go down the highway without stopping to see me.  She's pretty awesome like that.  And here I thought I was going to have to wait another 2 weeks when I was going home anyway to see her.

All in all, it's been a pretty awesome start to grad school.  I can't wait to see how it continues.

Full Circle?

Earlier tonight (as in a little over an hour ago), I dragged myself to the campus health center because my shoulder has been bothering me off and on for the past 10ish days.  It was ranging from no pain to easily a 7 on a scale of 1 to 10.  Not fun.

(Although it probably doesn't help that earlier tonight, I had 2 binders, 2 folders, 4 textbooks, a pencil case, three hole punch, planner, and other odds and ends in my backpack...)

So, anyhow, I went and signed in and sat in the waiting room and watched some terrible TV while waiting for the nurse (she was with another patient who was clearly not having a good night. I felt terrible for the poor thing.  She looked so afraid and broken.  I just wanted to give her a hug and tell her everything would work out).

After the nurse called me back, I realized it was the nurse who had helped me set up an appointment with the counseling center after my breakdown of sorts in February.  She gave me an ice pack and some Motrin for my shoulder, and then asked if I had any questions about the Motrin and its potential side effects.

It was then that I decided I had to do something.  During graduate school, I really want to thank people, be it friends, professors, or other university faculty and staff who have helped me.  This nurse is definitely one of those people.  (I've started a blog label about this to remind myself to write these letters or visit these people.)

I told her about how I had come down earlier in the year, and how grateful I was to her for being so kind to me and how much the counseling sessions I attended helped.  I also mentioned that I was studying counseling  on the graduate level and hope to be able to help people in the same way that I was.  She was elated to hear that I was able to continue attending the counseling sessions that I did and that it did get better for me.

Some people are just awesome like that.  It's wonderful to meet people who are genuinely caring and love what they do.  I hope I can say that I truly love my job someday (not that I don't right now, but I'm always looking at job postings and whatnot online).  As the saying goes, "If you love what you do, you'll never work a day in your life."

Oh the Places You'll Go!

First Week of Grad School...!

 So, my first week of graduate school begins in less than an hour...

It's so weird to think that four years ago, I was having lunch with my mom after one of my classes (and on her birthday).  Since it was only freshman year, I hadn't yet changed my major to Industrial Organizational Psychology, so I had a philosophy class (at 8 in the morning, no less), a few art classes, English, and History.

A fountain on campus

Now, I have an education class and three in Counseling.

My younger brother starts his first week of undergrad tomorrow.  My youngest cousin continues his elementary school career.  It's surreal still.

Vic and I were talking earlier tonight, and he said that it had been two years since he had done an internship in DC.  Now he's one year away from a Master's (even though we're only just under three weeks apart, he finished his double major a year early...smarty pants :)).  We agreed that high school seems like forever ago, even though it's only been four years.

First bulletin board of the semester

Even though I've been at the same school for what will be my fifth year, I'm learning that there are still things I'd like to do.  This time around, I'm starting in a curriculum that interests me (as opposed to freshman year when I changed my major).  I'm trying to stay as organized and on top of things as I can.  I want to get a 4.0.  I never did in high school or undergrad, and I really want to now.

My calendar and agenda are both color-coordinated to match the binder covers I made for each of my classes.  It even coordinates to my dry erase board.  Except for two classes, I have the textbooks I need (the perks of dating someone in the same curriculum).  I even made email distribution lists for the work studies I'm in charge of and my residents.

But for now, I'm waiting for my laundry to finish drying, perhaps check to see if any syllabi have been posted online, and then heading to bed... My first office hours of the semester begin tomorrow.  Here we go...

(731) Days of Blogging

When I first started this blog two years ago, my very first entry was about CA training.  Who would have thought that I would have a somewhat similar post 731 days later?

CA training has nearly come to a close yet again.  Sessions about mediation, alcohol and drugs, fire extinguisher use, and diversity; making door tags and bulletin boards; having the same thing nearly every day for each meal.

But this year was different, yet so similar.  Not only am I a CA, I'm a graduate assistant.  I have more leadership within the hall, but still have the same duties.  I'm in charge of a few additional things, but still oversee the work studies.  The more things stay the same, the more they change.

Life is changing in a few other ways too.  I never imagined that I would have an opportunity to again work in a field that I absolutely love.  I work with some pretty awesome people, and it's amazing.

My younger brother starts his undergraduate career in a few days when he moves into school on Friday.  My parents are about to be empty-nesters for the first time.  (I honestly don't know what my mother is going to do apart from continuing her job hunt.)

And then there's this guy.  He's sweet, funny, adorable, and amazing in every way.  And he's better than the guy of my dreams...because he's real.  I can't imagine my life without him.  His laugh makes me smile.  Vic, I love you more than words can say, and I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you.  You're the best.

Life...sometimes it makes me think more than I care to, but right now, it's amazing.  I can't believe that I'm starting grad classes on Monday.  But for the first time, I'm ready for a new challenge.  A new chapter, complete with coordinating binders, color coded calendars, and counseling textbooks.

Life is Beautiful

Sometimes, I want to scream.  Other times, I want to cry.  Then I want to smile.  And it's all because of this thing called life.  For as long as I can remember, I've had a pretty amazing life.

Cutest couple? I think yes.

My parents have supported me through various ventures.  They mean the world to me.  I wouldn't be who I am today without them, cliche as that sounds.

I have great friends.  I've lost some along the way, but the true ones have showed me real friendship.  These past few months have shown me who really cares, and who really doesn't.  I have friends, and then I have other friends.  It seems contradictory, I know.  But there are those who I trust with the world, and those who, well, I don't.

I guess I've realized lately that I'm incredibly fortunate... And, honestly, it scares the living hell out of me.  I will be moving back to campus in exactly a week to start my Master's degree.  I'll have a graduate assistantship that is not only paying for my room, but also my tuition.  I was also contacted the other day with another offer for a graduate assistantship.  While I had to decline the offer, I was amazed that another office on campus provided the one who offered me the position with my resume.

My favorite argyle fan.

I'm in love with my best friend who I've been dating for five months.  It's impossible for me to contain how happy he makes me.  Spending a lifetime together is a dream we share.

I have an incredible support system of family, friends, and people at school.

I never imagined being so fortunate.  I can only hope one day that I'll be able to find the words to express my gratitude to those who have supported me along the way, because they deserve it more than they know.  And that includes all of you.  Thank you.

Packing, take 2 and five months of happiness

Making a list and checking it twice

I've made this list twice now.  Maybe three times.

...I think that's everything.  I hope that's everything.  I hate feeling like I've forgotten something really important, even though I only live 1/2 hour from school.  List making helps me with this fear of forgetting something important.  I have to write things down, otherwise I'll most likely forget them.  (Maybe that's why I prefer hand-writing PowerPoints instead of printing them before classes.)

My room is still a disaster zone mess.  I have bins to still go through from moving out of school in May.  This year, I'm trying to downsize what I bring to school.

On a different note, as of a few days ago (July 25), Vic and I have been together for five months.  These last five months have been the happiest of my life.  I am seriously the luckiest girl in the world.  He's seen me at some very high points in my life and some low ones as well, and he's stuck with me through it all.

I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend

I find myself smiling so much and it's an incredible feeling.  Though it's only been five months, we've talked about our future together and being together for a lifetime.  I've never known a happiness like this before, and, well, I don't want this relationship to ever end.  I'm dating my best friend.

His laugh, sense of humor, and every little thing about him makes me love him more every day.  Even though he'll say I am, I know that he's the best.

To quote something he once told me, "Whoever said nothing worth having comes easy obviously never met us."  I couldn't agree more.

It's official!

(And, yes, I used a mustache. Why? Why the hell not.)

The island isn't done with you yet...

A few weeks ago, I got notification that all of my application materials for consideration into graduate school were (finally) in.  Today, I went in for an admissions interview with two of the faculty members (and as always, I was a wreck, because interviews freak me out)...

And I got in!!

They admitted to me that the interview was more of a simple formality, since I'd just missed the GPA requirement by mere decimal points, and to get to know me and what I'm looking to gain from the program. The two I met with seem like incredible people, and very willing to help students.

So, I'd say that today was pretty awesome.  I even got to have lunch with Vic and Shane, which is always a lot of fun.  Now just to hope for the best for the graduate assistantships I've applied for, and deciding on classes.  As soon as I get my formal acceptance letter, I can register for classes.

It's finally starting to sink in that I did, in fact, graduate from college with an undergraduate degree two months ago.  It's an amazing feeling.  I couldn't have done it without the support from all of you, my family and friends, and the best guy a girl could wish for...even if he does make me cry because of the sweet things he says.

The Quirks of Being a Twentysomething

(Author's note:  The spoof of the title of Stephen Chbosky's book totally intended.  Even though I've never read the book.)

During the first semester of my senior year (most of which I barely remember, honestly), the blogger formerly known as Shane Pilgrim, a few friends, and I were chatting with a few friends while perusing the offerings of a book purveyor known on our college campus as "Bob the Book Guy."  We came across a book called Pledged, about sororities.  Neither of us are terribly fond of Greek life, so it immediately interested us.  I read it with fervor and interest, and found that my opinion of Greek life hadn't changed at all.

Fast-forward to earlier today when I was at my local library and came across a book by the same author, Alexandra Robbins.  Intrigued, I looked to see what other books she had written.  One jumped out at me almost immediately:  Conquering Your Quarterlife Crisis.  (I previously wrote about how I want more out of life than my menial job as a cashier/stock girl/whatever needs done around the store employee.)

Of course, the library's computers were too slow for my patience, so I waited until I got home to look it up.  The library didn't have it after all, but Amazon did.  As many (or most) of you know, I don't have an eReader of any sort, nor do I care for one.  However, this book intrigued me to the point that I downloaded a free Kindle app and the Kindle edition of the aforementioned book.

I'm currently only a few pages into the book, but am already enjoying it.

Robbins writes,

After months of regularly beating myself to a mental pulp because I wasn't living up to my own standards, it was the simplest of facts that jolted me out of my funk:  I was normal.  When the twentysomething sources unloaded on me their fears, doubts, and uncertainties, I realized my insecurities were common - and that therefore wasn't a freak at all. That was all I needed to know.

Now who could argue with that?  It's funny how after talking to someone about these fears, or even reading about others', how what seems like insanity is suddenly normalized, okay, and maybe even rational.  It reminds me of how I often wish the stereotypes of illness and disability, be they mental or physical, were not looked down upon by society.  Everybody has their own certain quirks and they're just what make us who we are.  To quote something I read from How I Met Your Mother, "Shouldn't we hold out for the person who doesn't just tolerate our little quirks but actually kinda likes them?"

Dreaming in dreams, or something else?

I found myself meandering through a carnival or flea market of sorts.  It was then that I had the realization there was something oddly familiar about the set-up where someone was selling bait for fishing.  As I waded through the mock pond he had on display, memories started coming back to me.

Sort of like the flashes on Lost.

It was then that I saw myself.  Not at my current age of 22, but maybe around 15.  It was like I was watching myself in this same situation.

Then I sat at a restaurant, in what looked like Union Station in Washington, D.C., eating dinner by myself.  I read a book as I ate, just keeping to myself.  I'm not sure why I was alone in this train station, but there I was.  Next thing I know, my waiter gave me an ice cream sundae the size of a basketball, saying it was free. I don't know how he expected me to eat all of that, so I politely refused it.

As I walked more through the flea market sort of setup, which I suppose was near the train station, I saw a picture of myself and some childhood friends at a sleepover.  The next thing I knew, I was at that sleepover.  Watching a little me, reading, as the other girls played with Barbies or who knows what.

Then I was at my aunt's old apartment.  It was similar to the one she had, but also had some stark differences.  The apartment had remained uninhabited after she passed away, that was evident as I entered it.  Where I had found the key is anyone's guess.

Tears fell as I looked around the apartment:  sheets and comforters were slowly being eaten away by moths, the beds still made.  It was eerie.  A few Christmas ornaments hung on the back of a chair.  Everything was left like it had been when she passed away.  Except it was so...different.  I didn't remember the art that was hanging, nor the other knick knacks.

Suddenly, I found myself at commencement.  It was at a completely different venue.  I saw myself talking to my dad, realizing it was 10 minutes before I had to be lined up, and I was in no way ready for the ceremony.  I was still in jeans and a t-shirt, not in my dress, cap and gown nowhere to be found.

And, then, at long last, something possessed me to wake up.  All of these mini dreams were ones I'd had before, apart for the last one, sometime in my life.  But this was different.  It was like seeing myself in these dreams and watching myself in them.  I have no idea what any of this means... I woke up very confused.

Patience is a virtue

...or so I've been told.

As of a few days ago, all of my application materials for graduate school have been turned in.  (Which is a good thing, because at least once a week for the past four or five weeks, I've been getting emails that say the office is still missing part/s of the application).  Despite all of this being turned in, I do have to go in for an admissions interview next week (a week from tomorrow, actually).  I'm taking this as a positive sign.

These past few weeks have been, well, interesting.  I got to stay the weekend with Vic as I had previously mentioned, which was wonderful.  Spending time with him is always a fun time.

The week after that, though, was just...insane.  My parents had been trying to ready the house for the graduation party we had on Saturday, family staying with us, etc.  Of course, we can't have a family gathering without the over-bearing family causing drama (and leading to headaches for everyone).  That, and I'm thinking they approve of Vic after having met him because my cousin's husband wouldn't stop dropping wedding hints (we've only been dating for four months, talk about being hasty...).

I helped as much as I could prepare for the party, but between my mom trying to make the house look perfect and dad being a perfectionist about where everything goes and is arranged and the whole nine yards, I just wanted to run away screaming.  It was, in a word, infuriating.  I try to be a good daughter and do my part, but there's only so much I can take.  Working part-time and then helping them was tiring.

Back to grad school happenings, I'm slowly going insane not knowing if I'll be getting in the program.  I don't mind my part-time job that I hold, trying to save money to help fund graduate school, but I'm realizing how much I want out of it at the same time.  But that would require finding a job, interviewing, and getting said job, and probably starting out at a lower hourly wage than I currently make.

I don't mind (most of) the customers and my coworkers are pretty awesome, but it isn't fulfilling.  I don't want to do this for the rest of my life.  I want a challenge.  I miss the world of academia.  As much as I complained about some of my classes, I'm truly ready for a new set of courses, professors, and even assignments.  Work just isn't challenging.  I ring people out, sort ink cartridges, set up displays, and other menial tasks.  I want something more out of what I do.

It's not that I'm not happy with my life, it's just that I'm feeling kind of blah about the whole situation.  I realize how fortunate I am to have a job that I can always come back to, but I need something more than this.  I miss going to class, even holding office hours, and being within walking distance of Vic and my other friends.

This summer is different... it's a weird in-between college graduation and hopefully graduate school phase.  I suppose only time will tell at this point.

Only Fools Rush In

Late January:  I'm the CA on-call and a friend/resident has had a bit much to drink and is acting, in a word, obnoxiously.  The next morning, the aforementioned friend's friend, who I had met the previous night, comes up to me and apologizes for the friend's behavior.  We talk a bit, and then he leaves.  A few days pass.  We see each other a few more times over the next few days, and chat a little more each time. My interest is piqued...

A little under four months ago today, I wrote an entry about how being single isn't the same thing as being alone.  I mentioned how a friend and I had made plans to hang out, just the two of us.  Today, I'm happy to write that said friend and I are now not only friends, but in three days, will have been together for four months.

February 7:  Friend request received (and accepted) on Facebook from the friend who apologized.  We begin to chat and hang out from time to time.

I'm not usually one to write mushy-gushy romantic stuff, but as I once told Vic, "Every girl deserves a Vic... But I'm lucky. I've got the Vic."  Sure, there's been some crazy, but overall, it's been amazing.  (And, of course, there have been some tears.  I never knew until now that a simple, sweet text message conversation could make me cry.  And it takes a lot to do that.)

February 25:  We start dating.  We tell some close friends and family members so it's not a total surprise when we decide to put it on Facebook (because everybody knows it's not totally official unless it's on Facebook, of course).

My friends have told me that they've not seen me this happy in a long time... And they're right.  Knowing that there is someone who cares about you and your well-being as much as you care for them is, well, wonderful.  From the silly SpongeBob references and rooting for the LA Kings to win the Stanley Cup, to taking each other for medical help, watching silly cat videos on YouTube and chasing after stray cats, listening to Elvis, and just being together, I never imagined this kind of happiness in my life.  It's amazing.

Today:  I write this entry as the happiest girl in the world who gets to spend a weekend with an amazing guy... And can't wait.

My favorite person to match in purple with... ♥

Wise men say, only fools rush in...

But I can't help, falling in love with you.

Shall I stay, would it be a sin?

If I can't help ... falling in love with you.

To my dad...

To the man who gave me a love of crosswords, a quick wit and sense of humor, reading to me night after night as a child (and trying to skip pages in Wacky Wednesday), a passion for classic rock, lessons in being a friend and what it means to love someone, teaching me to drive (even if it did mean driving to another state for a simple ice cream cone), advice when I needed it and a lesson to go along with it when I didn't want to hear it, and an incredible amount of love and support for the past twenty-two years of my life...

Happy Father's Day, Dad. You're the best father a girl could ask for.  I love you.

Snooki, the Pirates, and inadvertent innuendos

A few nights ago, my family was watching TV as we do probably a bit more than we should. Sure, we have a dining room table set, but we barely use it. Anyhow, a commercial for an interview with Snooki came on the air, and my dad asked why anybody would even watch it. I simply replied, "She's popular and rich, apparently that makes for good air time." He then proceeded to ask me why I couldn't be Snooki so that I could be rich and he could manage my career. My dad has an offbeat sense of humor and wit that I inherited. I just told him that I don't want to be a drunk Oompa-Loompa.

As I mentioned in my last entry, Vic and I got to see each other over the weekend. We went to a Pirates game with his sister and her husband. The first few innings were sort of fun. The team did well, and despite the heat, it was great to just spend time together. At the end of the fourth inning, we decided to get some drinks because we were sitting on the 3rd baseline in 90°+ heat.

We like coordinating t-shirts, even if
it isn't the right team for the event.

And that's when it hit me. We stood up to move to the concession area, and by the time we got up to the top of the stairs/riser area, I could barely breathe. My heart felt like it was beating twice or maybe even three times as fast as it should be, and on top of breathing difficulty, I could barely stand. I bought us drinks, but was still feeling like I was going to pass out. The shade helped, but I was still iffy at best. We found an air-conditioned kiosk, and stood in there for a few minutes. I was honestly really scared, as I'd never felt like that before.

Eventually, I did wind up going to first aid where they just took my pulse and let me sit for a few minutes. Needless to say, we didn't go back to our seats. We just stood/sat in shaded areas for the rest of the game. (We had really gone for each other's company, if nothing else.) I have the best boyfriend in the world.

Apart from making comments about Dorito-colored celebrities and feeling like death at baseball games, summer's been pretty low-key. I have some family arriving in town later this month to celebrate the grad party and visit, which will be a lot of fun.

My parents have also been trying to fix the vacuum cleaner and they continue to make unintentional innuendos and it's taking most of the willpower I have to not make really bad jokes when they do. I mean, you can't just say things like, "Well, jam it in there!" and "Maybe if I blow it..." without my mind wandering...

Graduation 3, Interview 1, and a 5 cent raise

On Thursday, I'm really going to feel like the older sister I am. My not-so little brother is graduating from high school. It still hasn't sunk in that I've graduated from college, and that he's going to be heading off to school in the fall.

I love my crazy family. And, yes, he purposely made that face.

I'm incredibly proud of him.  He's certainly done a lot this year.  He took AP French (which is what he's planning on studying in college), played a season of lacrosse, and started a part-time job a few weeks ago.  My mother, like any mother would be, is worried that he won't be able to adjust to having a roommate.  As I told her, just make sure he answers his roommate survey honestly (once you're in res life, you don't forget things like this).

Speaking of the mother person, she's been studying her past notes and books for the past few days, as she has a job interview on Monday.  I'm excited for her.  Not surprisingly, she's a nervous wreck.  She and I very unalike in some regards.  Don't get me wrong, I'm not a huge fan of interviews either, but I'm sure she'll do great.

She and I are also going to a concert in two weeks, and I can't wait for that. I've been to quite a few concerts over the years with my dad (Styx, Foreigner, Kansas, Def Leppard, REO Speedwagon, and Jefferson Airplane, to name a few), and one with both of my parents, but never just my mom. Okay, so we saw Raffi when I was 2 or 3... But that was 19-20 years ago. She and I are seeing one of our favorite singers, James Taylor. She's seen him in concert before, but I never have. I'm so excited.



I've also been working about 20 hours a week (I even got a 5 cent raise...woo, a whole five cents. But, hey, I can't complain too much). Work is slow half the time, so it's kinda boring, but hey, it's money in the bank. I also got my new computer the other day, and I absolutely love it.

In terms of graduate school, I have yet to hear back about being admitted (then again, I only took the MAT less than a week ago). I did hear, though, that if I can get a job as a graduate-level CA, then everything except food and books would be paid for, which is amazing. Free grad school? Yes, please!

Beyond that, I've just been trying to conquer my summer reading list and hanging out at home. I do, however, get to see Vic on Sunday and I can't wait. Even though we live less than an hour away from each other, we're both pretty busy this summer, so seeing each other is always wonderful.

On (not) working and reading

So far this summer, beyond graduating from college, traveling to DC, spending time with friends and family, and meeting Vic's parents (who are so sweet and funny), I've been reading and not working. Granted, it's been sort of nice to have some time off, but now it's just...dare I say, a tad boring? Having some sort of income would be nice, as I'm trying to save money for a new laptop (it's cheaper to get an all-new computer instead of repairing the one I currently have), as well as grad school tuition, books, and an apartment.

(And, yes, I realize that tuition, books, and apartment are pending acceptance into grad school with is pending on taking the MAT on Thursday and getting all of my letters of recommendation in. I'm still waiting for one more. Which is really, really aggravating.)

Anyhow. The following is a list of books I'm hoping to read over this summer. Suggestions are always welcome and if you've read any of them, I'd love to discuss them with you.

- Imagine: How Creativity Works (Jonah Lehrer)
- Wild: From Lost to Found on the Pacific Crest Trail (Cheryl Strayed)
- An Abundance of Katherines (John Green)
- The Hunt for Red October (Tom Clancy)
- The Recursive Mind (Michael C. Corballis)
- Middlesex (Jeffrey Eugenides)
- Lord of the Flies (William Golding)
- Stranger in a Strange Land (William Golding)
- Dune (Frank Herbert)
- 11/22/63 (Stephen King)
- The Shining (Stephen King)
- Freakonomics (Stephen D. Levitt)
- The Pilgrim's Regress (C.S. Lewis)
- The English Patient (Michael Ondaajte)
- Freud on Madison Avenue (Lawrence K. Samuel)
- The Believing Brain (Michael Shermer)
- The Help (Kathryn Stockett)
- The Good Among the Great (Donald Van de Mark)
- The Book Thief (Markus Zuzak)
- Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking (Susan Cain)
- Nerds: How Dorks, Dweebs, Techies, and Trekkies Can Save America and Why They Might Be Our Last Hope (David Anderegg)

And if you're curious, this is what I have read so far this summer. I recommend them both:
- The Big Bang Theory and Philosophy: Rock, Paper, Scissors, Aristotle, Locke (Dean Kowalski)
- The Social Animal (David Brooks)

Now I'm off to read and hopefully not melt in the lack of air conditioning in my room.

Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow

Bad puns aside, I can now say that I've crossed another item off of my bucket list:  donating my hair to Locks of Love.  Throughout college, my hair's been varying lengths.  However, once it gets to a point where it's so long that it's annoying, it's just time to cut it off and start fresh.

Because it had been over a year since I got my hair cut last, I didn't even know what style I wanted. I just knew I had to have 10" to donate, and whatever was left over, well, that's what I'd work with...

Before...

And the end results! (Taken with my webcam because I'm lazy.)

...and after!

Unpack. Organize. Repeat.

"Oh look! We can be
questioned by
Leonardo DiCaprio!" -Vic

I'm surrounded by books, pillows, clothes, a gown from graduation, various toiletries, pictures, and a general mess. Yup, it's that time of the year again: moving back home from college and figuring out how to unpack and organize my life. It doesn't help that my parents decided to move a small couch and chair into my room a few weeks ago either. But I digress...

Last Saturday after graduation, I got home and did a whole lot of nothing. Sunday was a fairly low-key Mother's Day.  I spent it with my family at my grandmother's house and then went to Vic's to spend the night before going to DC for an awesome few days.

The Capitol

Last time I was in DC was 7 years ago, so getting to go back was a lot of fun. We saw the monuments, a few museums (Natural History, American History, Madame Tussauds), took a tour of the Capitol and National Archives, explored Chinatown, and so much more. Because Vic had done an internship in DC, he knew the Metro really well (which I was thankful for, because I'm generally hopelessly directionally challenged).

Being able to take a mini vacation was a great way to just get away and relax for a few days. No internet, email, Facebook, Blogger... Just relaxing and enjoying each other's company and getting to know the other people we were traveling with (well, for me anyway. It was a History Club trip, after all).

With Mr. Lincoln

From what I can tell, the rest of the summer is probably going to be pretty relaxing as well. I'm going back to my part-time job, hanging out with Vic and other friends, having a ridiculous grad party (we're celebrating 3 graduations in my family this year: Mom got her Master's, I got my Bachelor's, and my brother graduates from high school in a few weeks).

Beyond that, I have to take the MAT for consideration for admission to a Master's program and am hoping to hear back about some potential graduate assistantship opportunities to help pay for grad school. We'll see what happens.

I guess I should finish unpacking now...

It's done, it's over... I graduated!

It still hasn't officially sunk in that I'm a college graduate. It has, but it hasn't. It's a strange feeling. My mom walked into my room today and I still had a moment of panic wondering how she got in without a key (talk about a res life state of mind...).

But, for now, I'm relaxing while waiting for my mom to get off the phone so I can go back to the same town my school is in.  This time, however, it won't be to play the role of mother, resource, and part-time counselor for my 71 residents. I get to go to DC with the bacon of boyfriends.

So, readers, I leave you with some pictures from commencement. And a formal post will be in the next few days.

With Amber, my fellow psych major

Dakota! :D

The best boyfriend a girl could wish for.

My parents are incredible. Mom just got her Master's
the day before I got my Bachelor's (and from the
same school)!